ELVIS
It's a regular Tuesday night. I'm at an east village bar where I'm spitting vowels at consonants and convincing myself that I'm arguing that Prince is our generation's Mozart while my friends are making sure I'm keeping myself off the mechanical bull. A little bit later I bring up the point that I hate Elvis Presley, but it's under unusual circumstances.
Why? Because I told it to Matthew Williams, who made his name writing a handful of lyrics for Elvis w/ his songwriting partner, Paul Evans. 'I Gotta Know' sold well over a million copies.
After I convinced Matthew to spend $15 on a pitcher of beer for our table (well, $13--he bitched me out for giving the $2 change to the bartender), I attempted to listen to his stories, ask questions about songwriting, etc. but I was losing focus and interest quickly.
hey, I find beer delicious, and I found some rube willing to gas us up. And tell rock 'n' roll stories. but this guy never met elvis. he ripped off Carl Perkins' 'Don't Be Cruel' to get some b-side published and make his $$, he told me so.
And a sad, sad truth revealed itself. Well several, actually, but I'll just reveal those that aren't about me. The first and foremost is that Elvis still sucks even when you're drinking with a guy who wrote words for him. Second and most jarring: this guy didn't have a bone in his body that was earnest about making music. Even though I've never cared about Elvis Presley, I figure the guy who's been in the business and plops down $13 for a pitcher to tell us his stories dances into this. But he was cold, humorless, or maybe just old. Maybe I have a lesson to learn. Maybe I was starry-eyed.
I had no business arguing with him, I couldn't think or talk straight. He recognized it and made fun of me. If I could do it again? I'd have, uh, eaten dinner before I went out, sat back, listened more to what he was saying. Then I would've taken his $13 and told him how much Elvis sucks.
Oh, and by the way? Prince is the Mozart of our generation.
Why? Because I told it to Matthew Williams, who made his name writing a handful of lyrics for Elvis w/ his songwriting partner, Paul Evans. 'I Gotta Know' sold well over a million copies.
After I convinced Matthew to spend $15 on a pitcher of beer for our table (well, $13--he bitched me out for giving the $2 change to the bartender), I attempted to listen to his stories, ask questions about songwriting, etc. but I was losing focus and interest quickly.
hey, I find beer delicious, and I found some rube willing to gas us up. And tell rock 'n' roll stories. but this guy never met elvis. he ripped off Carl Perkins' 'Don't Be Cruel' to get some b-side published and make his $$, he told me so.
And a sad, sad truth revealed itself. Well several, actually, but I'll just reveal those that aren't about me. The first and foremost is that Elvis still sucks even when you're drinking with a guy who wrote words for him. Second and most jarring: this guy didn't have a bone in his body that was earnest about making music. Even though I've never cared about Elvis Presley, I figure the guy who's been in the business and plops down $13 for a pitcher to tell us his stories dances into this. But he was cold, humorless, or maybe just old. Maybe I have a lesson to learn. Maybe I was starry-eyed.
I had no business arguing with him, I couldn't think or talk straight. He recognized it and made fun of me. If I could do it again? I'd have, uh, eaten dinner before I went out, sat back, listened more to what he was saying. Then I would've taken his $13 and told him how much Elvis sucks.
Oh, and by the way? Prince is the Mozart of our generation.
posted by stinkrock at 1:28 AM
6 Comments:
After his first band was fired by his handlers Elvis commenced to suck. Those first couple of early records are pretty good though.
Sorry you had to endure this vulture. Many more where he came from. Next time, take him to Scores and get him to pay for bubbly and table dances.
That tune you linked to definately sucks ass!!!
Based on the second verse, I'd say the guy was more confused about the correct change from the pitcher than upset about your giving the waitress a tip.
Stinkrock is romanticizing this guy's lyric-writing-for-Elvis stories WAY too high. (I oughtta know; I grilled him before Stink rocked him). He's an old guy, prolly living on occasional royalty checks and Social Security - seemed a little wacked out to me.
And you know how BORING old drunks can sound, especially when their glory days were LONG ago? Matt was one of them....
Tony and I were gonna get 'Elvis Blows' shirts for our visit to Memphis in which we didn't go to Graceland on purpose. A freind of ours living in Atlanta at the time wisely argued against the t-shirts. 'Y'all don't wanna do that' was all he said, but there was a severity in his tone that could not be ignored. Looking back I think we made the right choice in abandoning the t-shirts, but the facts remain; Elvis blows and we went to Memphis and didn't go to Graceland.....on purpose.
Elvis: Jerry-Lee, they say I play the devils music.
Jerry-Lee: Hell Elvis, you are the devil.
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