GLOBES
"In times of struggle, a nation turns to its celebrities for guidance." - Winston Churchill
(Ok, Churchill never said that, I say that. I say it often; it's partially for Sean Penn so he falls off his high horse and remembers he's famous for simultaneously learning about Cuba and having some food, the entertainment equivalent of the head pat/belly rub.)
I always watch the Golden Globes because I admittedly dig checking out the celebrities, especially when they're allowed to get trashed. Unfortunately, we are living in the Dark Ages; in the time of the Plague of the Publicist, no one's allowed to act out in front of the camera. Only true visionaries like Russell Crowe have the courage to assault the great unwashed with telephones and threatening accents.
99% of the whole thing is crap, of course. I root for train wrecks and this year disappointed. I do enjoy the nightmare shakes I get from seeing John Travolta, though. Scientologists are hatched from pods, suck blood from babies when no one's looking, and make me wish I'd never seen Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Tarantino got it right in Pulp Fiction: Travolta needs to be shot.
Also recoiled in horror at the Fat Roll call that was the Mariah Carey; I had to close my windows to protect my neighbors from the thundering onslaught of her entrance. The castrated vanilla MC announced that she's nominated for 8 Grammys this year. Really? I hope those things don't turn orange in the Pigpenesque Cheetos dust cloud that encircles her.
(Ladies and gentlemen, I tell fat jokes. Try the veal.)
Oddly enough I also watch in the hopes that one creatively-fueled person will say something earnest about how fun and great it is to make stuff. This year I got my juice from Ang Lee who won for directing Brokeback Mountain, which I saw yesterday and loved. Like every winner, he said he'd forget to thank people, but acknowledged it was okay because that was what his movie was about. That struck me: I like that he carried that weight up on stage; he's been lugging his movie around for awhile, I'm guessing.
It does matter to me that people who make stuff feel the heft of what they've done and shoulder it. there's an agony that comes with pushing shit off from shore. it can eat away at people, and maybe that's why I watch these things: to watch people get eaten.
(although maybe it's Mariah doin' the noshin'! Huzzah! Rimshotcrashburp!)
(Ok, Churchill never said that, I say that. I say it often; it's partially for Sean Penn so he falls off his high horse and remembers he's famous for simultaneously learning about Cuba and having some food, the entertainment equivalent of the head pat/belly rub.)
I always watch the Golden Globes because I admittedly dig checking out the celebrities, especially when they're allowed to get trashed. Unfortunately, we are living in the Dark Ages; in the time of the Plague of the Publicist, no one's allowed to act out in front of the camera. Only true visionaries like Russell Crowe have the courage to assault the great unwashed with telephones and threatening accents.
99% of the whole thing is crap, of course. I root for train wrecks and this year disappointed. I do enjoy the nightmare shakes I get from seeing John Travolta, though. Scientologists are hatched from pods, suck blood from babies when no one's looking, and make me wish I'd never seen Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Tarantino got it right in Pulp Fiction: Travolta needs to be shot.
Also recoiled in horror at the Fat Roll call that was the Mariah Carey; I had to close my windows to protect my neighbors from the thundering onslaught of her entrance. The castrated vanilla MC announced that she's nominated for 8 Grammys this year. Really? I hope those things don't turn orange in the Pigpenesque Cheetos dust cloud that encircles her.
(Ladies and gentlemen, I tell fat jokes. Try the veal.)
Oddly enough I also watch in the hopes that one creatively-fueled person will say something earnest about how fun and great it is to make stuff. This year I got my juice from Ang Lee who won for directing Brokeback Mountain, which I saw yesterday and loved. Like every winner, he said he'd forget to thank people, but acknowledged it was okay because that was what his movie was about. That struck me: I like that he carried that weight up on stage; he's been lugging his movie around for awhile, I'm guessing.
It does matter to me that people who make stuff feel the heft of what they've done and shoulder it. there's an agony that comes with pushing shit off from shore. it can eat away at people, and maybe that's why I watch these things: to watch people get eaten.
(although maybe it's Mariah doin' the noshin'! Huzzah! Rimshotcrashburp!)
posted by stinkrock at 11:47 PM
5 Comments:
Great Blog, Love the Mariah stuff.
I get such enjoyment from fat jokes.
keep up the great work...
What we need is a return to the 1970s, when celebs would appear on Johnny Carson shitfaced and smoking Marlboros. I might even get cable again if they brought that back.
I nearly fell off my chair laughing at the Tarantino/Travolta bit.
Nice Work.
i would do mariah in a heartbeat. that bitch done gone crazy.
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