COMPARISON OF NEIL DIAMOND MOVIES I'VE SEEN

#1. THE LAST WALTZ

In the Martin Scorsese classic concert film, The Band is captured in an unprecedented scenario: a finale show filmed in 1976, when the drag of rock and roll has ground them into Marty fodder. As Roger Ebert put it, "the musicians...drag themselves onstage like exhausted veterans of wrong wars." Heralded for its look at a band at the very end of its existence, The Last Waltz is a classic.

Musically, I hate The Band. Like The Grateful Dead moved to Canada and learned to ski. What? But let's not talk about them.

Neil Diamond's performance with The Band is clearly the lowlight of this entire movie. Wikipedia tells me that the only reason he was there is because Robbie Robertson had just finished producing one of Neil's more fake-tit-pierced works; "Beautiful Noise". Even if you already misunderstand Neil Diamond's musical genius, "Beautiful Noise" looks bad. A real piece of queso.

So like I said, the lowlight. And also like I said, I hate The Band. Bob Dylan has played a horrible joke on all of you.

NEIL DIAMOND RATING: D-



#2. THE JAZZ SINGER

This movie is flawless. Absolutely flawless.

NEIL DIAMOND RATING: A+