STINK/FANS (3 of 3)
Stinkrock's back on again. Sometimes it takes awhile to find the switch. It was in the fridge behind something we'll call a 'tomato'.
For now, let's finish up the shit hits the fans, shall we? The time is right, as the "Replacements" announced some sort of reunion this past week. I don't know how Chris Mars backing vocals and Tommy "Chinese Democracy" Stinson root notes on a solo Paul song count as a Replacements reunion. Unless Bob Stinson was buried in a maternity dress with a shovel, a TV/VCR and a copy of 'Re-animator', the Replacements are still done.
Let's roll the tape...
TRACK 15: BREAK DOWN
Following the release of their potential dollar-grabbin' 'Don't Sell Our Souls', the Replacements were sent out by their record company to open for Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers in the hopes they'd get some positive unfluence from a professional rock band. Like they were grounded by their parents or something. On the tour, Tom hears the line 'rebel without a clue' from 'I'll Be You' and snatches it up, sticks it into 'Into the Great Wide Open'. Kim Basinger stars in the video, and later wins an Oscar.
The Replacements should sue. Instead, they go back in time and do a lovely smoky half-cover of the forgotten Petty classic 'Break Down'.
Petty, petty, petty.
TRACK 16: NO MORE THE MOON SHINES ON LOREENA
Carter Family cover. You're obliged to do a shot of whiskey during this one, and maybe let your mangy hound sleep on your feet while he gnaws on the bone of a squirrel you shot this morning.
TRACK 17: MERRY GO ROUND
In the deal of the century, I convinced my parents to let me stop taking piano lessons so I could learn the drums. I was about 11, and they let me set it up in my bedroom. I borrowed two cassettes from my older sister, which I don't think I ever gave back: Led Zeppelin IV and Motley Crue's 'Too Fast For Love'. Black Dog was too hard to learn, Rock and Roll was too fast,
Battle of Evermore sucked, so I'd play along with Stairway then switch over to the Crue. The first Crue record is solid, and Merry Go Round is one of the best songs on it. Bob Stinson thought so too. Are you going to argue with him? He's dead!
TRACK 18: LEFT HERE IN THE DARK
I just googled 'Shit Hit the Fans' to figure out where the hell this song comes from, and a link to my last blog post came up second. That's no help.
Bob teases the crowd with the intro from AC/DC's 'For Those About to Rock' and launches into this song. It's well below average. Is it a replacements song? It's got the same chord progression as 'ROCK in the USA'. Maybe if Paul's middle name was 'Puma', this would've been a hit.
TRACK 19: TAKIN' CARE OF BUSINESS
Tommy and Chris start out on a jazz exploration, and get cut off by the runny yogurt classic rock crap that is 'TCB'. Paul makes up the lyrics, but they somehow end up worse. They make it to the solo and then it dies. I wish that happened in every rock song.
TRACK 20: I WILL FOLLOW
Think of the last five songs of 'Shit' as the heads of the five families from Godfather and the Replacements as the Corleone goons. First up: 'I Will Follow'. Bob plays the intro and stops. Crowd cheers. Paul plays the riff and stops. Crowd doesn't cheer. Bob plays the intro again, and Chris joins in. Crowd gives up, band follows suit. Welcome to the Replacements.
TRACK 21: JUMPIN' JACK FLASH
"Jumpin' Jack Flask?"
Paul takes a request, and the band butchers this tired Stones song for a verse and a chorus. Honestly? It's never sounded better.
Tommy tries to figure something out on bass. What is he, 16? He can't even call a 900 number without parental permission. He doesn't make it. Bob noodles on the national anthem. Maybe he thinks he's at Woodstock.
TRACK 22: RADIO FREE EUROPE
Like pulling a plane into a mountainside, Paul steers the band into REM's early single. It took a decade of farty art students to figure out what the hell Michael Stipe was saying. Back here, Paul doesn't know, care, or give a shit. He screams most of the way through.
Rock trivia: Peter Buck plays the guitar solo on 'I Will Dare'. My friend Dfactor bought the Mats a round of drinks after a blistering soundcheck back in the '80s and asks if Peter's a good guitar player. Paul responds with the BJ in the cheek motion. At least he does in my version.
If Peter Buck and Paul Westerberg had been in Peter, Paul & Mary then (a): Puff the Magic Dragon would've lived by the Dairy Queen in a trailer park and (b) Mary would've gotten kicked out.
In classic fashion, the song ends just as Paul gets to the chorus. 'Calling a...'
TRACK 23: MORE FUN IN THE NEW WORLD
'Here's another band that helped us along in our illustrious career'.
X cover. Paul gets all serious for a second, like the philosophical drunk who suddenly decides he has something to say. Sorry, dude - you played the Jacksons 17 songs ago. You're done. Let's take it home.
TRACK 24: (last song) LET IT BE
CROWD: "Yeah!"
PAUL (voice) : "The Beatles?"
GUY IN CROWD: "Yeah, I Want to Hold Your Hand!"
PAUL (guitar): Satisfaction by the Stones (Name That Tune Version)
TOMMY (bass): fucks up Satisfaction
GUY IN CROWD: Beatles!
The Replacements start playing Let it Be, and it fades to black quickly. Show over.
The show ended when a Mats crew guy spied the taper and snatched the tape. But is it a
coincidence that this album ends with the namesake of the best album the Replacements ever made?
For now, let's finish up the shit hits the fans, shall we? The time is right, as the "Replacements" announced some sort of reunion this past week. I don't know how Chris Mars backing vocals and Tommy "Chinese Democracy" Stinson root notes on a solo Paul song count as a Replacements reunion. Unless Bob Stinson was buried in a maternity dress with a shovel, a TV/VCR and a copy of 'Re-animator', the Replacements are still done.
Let's roll the tape...
TRACK 15: BREAK DOWN
Following the release of their potential dollar-grabbin' 'Don't Sell Our Souls', the Replacements were sent out by their record company to open for Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers in the hopes they'd get some positive unfluence from a professional rock band. Like they were grounded by their parents or something. On the tour, Tom hears the line 'rebel without a clue' from 'I'll Be You' and snatches it up, sticks it into 'Into the Great Wide Open'. Kim Basinger stars in the video, and later wins an Oscar.
The Replacements should sue. Instead, they go back in time and do a lovely smoky half-cover of the forgotten Petty classic 'Break Down'.
Petty, petty, petty.
TRACK 16: NO MORE THE MOON SHINES ON LOREENA
Carter Family cover. You're obliged to do a shot of whiskey during this one, and maybe let your mangy hound sleep on your feet while he gnaws on the bone of a squirrel you shot this morning.
TRACK 17: MERRY GO ROUND
In the deal of the century, I convinced my parents to let me stop taking piano lessons so I could learn the drums. I was about 11, and they let me set it up in my bedroom. I borrowed two cassettes from my older sister, which I don't think I ever gave back: Led Zeppelin IV and Motley Crue's 'Too Fast For Love'. Black Dog was too hard to learn, Rock and Roll was too fast,
Battle of Evermore sucked, so I'd play along with Stairway then switch over to the Crue. The first Crue record is solid, and Merry Go Round is one of the best songs on it. Bob Stinson thought so too. Are you going to argue with him? He's dead!
TRACK 18: LEFT HERE IN THE DARK
I just googled 'Shit Hit the Fans' to figure out where the hell this song comes from, and a link to my last blog post came up second. That's no help.
Bob teases the crowd with the intro from AC/DC's 'For Those About to Rock' and launches into this song. It's well below average. Is it a replacements song? It's got the same chord progression as 'ROCK in the USA'. Maybe if Paul's middle name was 'Puma', this would've been a hit.
TRACK 19: TAKIN' CARE OF BUSINESS
Tommy and Chris start out on a jazz exploration, and get cut off by the runny yogurt classic rock crap that is 'TCB'. Paul makes up the lyrics, but they somehow end up worse. They make it to the solo and then it dies. I wish that happened in every rock song.
TRACK 20: I WILL FOLLOW
Think of the last five songs of 'Shit' as the heads of the five families from Godfather and the Replacements as the Corleone goons. First up: 'I Will Follow'. Bob plays the intro and stops. Crowd cheers. Paul plays the riff and stops. Crowd doesn't cheer. Bob plays the intro again, and Chris joins in. Crowd gives up, band follows suit. Welcome to the Replacements.
TRACK 21: JUMPIN' JACK FLASH
"Jumpin' Jack Flask?"
Paul takes a request, and the band butchers this tired Stones song for a verse and a chorus. Honestly? It's never sounded better.
Tommy tries to figure something out on bass. What is he, 16? He can't even call a 900 number without parental permission. He doesn't make it. Bob noodles on the national anthem. Maybe he thinks he's at Woodstock.
TRACK 22: RADIO FREE EUROPE
Like pulling a plane into a mountainside, Paul steers the band into REM's early single. It took a decade of farty art students to figure out what the hell Michael Stipe was saying. Back here, Paul doesn't know, care, or give a shit. He screams most of the way through.
Rock trivia: Peter Buck plays the guitar solo on 'I Will Dare'. My friend Dfactor bought the Mats a round of drinks after a blistering soundcheck back in the '80s and asks if Peter's a good guitar player. Paul responds with the BJ in the cheek motion. At least he does in my version.
If Peter Buck and Paul Westerberg had been in Peter, Paul & Mary then (a): Puff the Magic Dragon would've lived by the Dairy Queen in a trailer park and (b) Mary would've gotten kicked out.
In classic fashion, the song ends just as Paul gets to the chorus. 'Calling a...'
TRACK 23: MORE FUN IN THE NEW WORLD
'Here's another band that helped us along in our illustrious career'.
X cover. Paul gets all serious for a second, like the philosophical drunk who suddenly decides he has something to say. Sorry, dude - you played the Jacksons 17 songs ago. You're done. Let's take it home.
TRACK 24: (last song) LET IT BE
CROWD: "Yeah!"
PAUL (voice) : "The Beatles?"
GUY IN CROWD: "Yeah, I Want to Hold Your Hand!"
PAUL (guitar): Satisfaction by the Stones (Name That Tune Version)
TOMMY (bass): fucks up Satisfaction
GUY IN CROWD: Beatles!
The Replacements start playing Let it Be, and it fades to black quickly. Show over.
The show ended when a Mats crew guy spied the taper and snatched the tape. But is it a
coincidence that this album ends with the namesake of the best album the Replacements ever made?
posted by stinkrock at 1:55 AM
2 Comments:
>>>Bob teases the crowd with the intro from AC/DC's 'For Those About to Rock' and launches into this song.<<<
My God, this IS just like a Microdot rehearsal.
Best three part series I've read in years! Kinda missed some of the Oscars coverage though...
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