BONZO

Once you're in the movies, you're always in the movies. The Reagans watched a shitload of movies during Ronny's presidency (thanks Traveler's Diagram.)

The list is broken down by date, so I spent a little time cross-referencing their movie-watching dates with notable 1980s world events to see if the Reagan's home entertainment influenced his Presidency. Here's what I learned:

Feb 14 ’81. Australia withdraws its recognition of Pol Pot’s regime in Cambodia. At Camp David, the Reagans snuggle up on Valentine’s Day with ‘9 to 5’. Ronny murmurs ‘Mommy’ anytime Dolly Parton comes on screen.

March 6 ’81. Walter Cronkite ends his 19-year tenure on CBS Evening News. The following night, the Reagans watch ‘Oh God, Book II’.

November 23, ’81. President Reagan signs the infamous directive allowing CIA operatives to recruit Contras in Nicaragua. A couple days later, he and Nancy lie down on the couch and play footsie during Milos Forman's ‘Ragtime’. Happy Thanksgiving, America.

March 19, ’82. The Argentinians land on St. George’s Island, foreshadowing war in the Falklands. The Reagans, uneasy, watch ‘Das Boot’.

May ’82. The Falklands War. The Reagans see no movies. (Bonzo's pretty good from a PR perspective - he doesn't retreat to the screening room when significant world events are afoot - for instance, he doesn't watch 'The Omen' on the day the Pope is shot. )

June 12, ’82. 750,000 people rally against nuclear weapons in Central Park. Down in Camp David, the Reagans are unironically chuckling their way through ‘A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the White House’.

(Note: The IMDB carries no such listing, so I assume this must be the Gerald Ford sex tape.)

March 8, ’83. Suffering from a clenched colon, Reagan refers to the Soviet Union as an ‘evil empire’. Still having difficulty sitting three days later, he paces around the room with a jar of Jelly Bellys and watches ‘The Year of Living Dangerously’.

May 17, '83. - Lebanon, Israel, and the United States sign an agreement on Israeli withdrawal from Lebanon. A few days later the Reagans celebrate by watching ‘Octopussy’. Bonzo professes a crush for Miss Moneypenny and Nancy forces him to sleep on the couch.

May 25, ’83. ‘Return of the Jedi’ is released domestically. Proving how taxing and involved a job the Presidency is, The Reagans don’t see it until June 2nd, over a week later.

October 25, 1983. The U.S. invades Grenada. A couple days later, the Reagans take some time out to watch ‘The Big Chill’.

Febuary 26, 1984. The U.S. withdraw from Grenada, a decision no doubt spurred partially by the Reagan viewing of the delightful Dudley Moore vehicle ‘Unfaithfully Yours’ two nights earlier.

June 22, 1984. The Reagans watch ‘Bedtime for Bonzo’. Heads explode. Chernenko will die nine months later, and the U.S. will win the Cold War.

June 30, 1984. John Turner replaces Pierre Trudeau as Canadian Prime Minister. To help welcome Turner, the Reagans stay home and nap through ‘The Karate Kid’.

December 3, 1984. The Bhopal gas disaster kills thousands of people. The disaster was probably the work of an angered God, furious that the Reagans cracked jokes through the entirety of ‘Oh God You Devil’ at Camp David two nights earlier. One must appreciate , however, the Reagan's allegiance to the Oh God! franchise. Addressing the press the next day, Reagan wears a George Burns t-shirt underneath his suit.

December 22, 1984. It’s probably Ron, Jr.’s idea, but they watch Dune! Holy shit!

June 14, 1985. A dark day. TWA Flight 847 is hijacked en route from Athens to Rome, and the passengers are held on the plane for the entire weekend. Working tirelessly to secure their safe release, the Reagans watch ‘George Stevens: A Filmmaker’s Journey’ on the 14^th, and the next night, catch up on the wonderful Katherine Hepburn classic ‘The Lion in Winter’.

July 5, 1985. ‘Cocoon’. Nancy's choice. Bonzo thinks it's a home movie.

August 2, 1985. Another air tragedy – a Delta flight crashes in Texas, killing 191 people. Saddened by this tragic loss of American life, The Reagans console themselves with the relentlessly cheerful 1951 musical ‘Showboat’.

September 19, 1985. More tragedy – a Mexico City earthquake kills 9,000 people. The next night, the Reagans see the amazingly awesome Western ‘The Man From Laramie’.

January 28, 1986. The Space Shuttle Challenger blows up, killing seven astronauts. Believing it to be the work of the Russians, Bonzo and Mommy stay up into the early morning hours analyzing Russian tactics displayed in ‘Rocky IV’.

March 1, 1986. Mining Hollywood pablum for hostile nation wartime strategies, the Reagans take in ‘Iron Eagle’. Nancy is very impressed and slightly aroused by Lewis Gossett Jr.’s fabulous performance as ‘Chappie’. Unfortunately, Bonzo believes the movie to be truth and places an awkward phone call to Caspar Weinberger at 3 A.M.

February 20, 1987. The second ‘Unabomber’ bomb goes off, unsettling a nation. Unperturbed, the Reagans experience the exciting world of armwrestling tournaments a night later with ‘Over the Top’, a Stallone masterpiece.

November 12, 1988: Having secured George Herbert Walker Bush his Vice-President as his successor, a full-blown Alzheimer'd Reagan eats cold soup out of a can and watches 'Cocoon II: The Return.'

Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States.